


Worth It

by thesinbin



Series: Ash's Adventures [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Black!Reader - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 22:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9037373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesinbin/pseuds/thesinbin
Summary: Sometimes Bucky needs a reminder.





	

As you walked into the kitchen, forehead slick with sweat from you workout, you felt it again. The stare that burned holes through you—and yet whenever you turned to confront it, you found nobody behind you. Your lips twisted downward, but you remained silent. You’d figure it out.

“Something wrong?” Steve asked, face still grinning from the joke you’d told. You flashed a smile.

“I thought I felt someone watching me,” you said. “But I guess it was nothing.” He poured a glass of orange juice before offering some. You declined.

“Well, it’s just us and Buck, so I don’t know who it could be,” Steve stated matter of factly. He turned toward the living room. “Whatcha watchin’ Buck?”

“Something about penguins marching,” Bucky replied, not turning around.

“March of the Penguins?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Bucky gave a shrug. You frowned before grabbing a glass of water. “It’s supposed to be a pretty good documentary,” you continued. “Plus God voices it.”

“God?” You winked at Steve.

“Yes,” you said. “God himself.” The countertop dug into your back slightly as you leaned against it, taking slow sips. Steve stayed long enough to finish his glass and wash it before making his exit. Apparently he had actual work to do. You were pretty sure he was just going to take a nap.

With soft steps, you made your way toward Bucky, sinking into the softness of the couch. “Enjoying yourself?” you asked, noting the blank stare directed at the TV.

“What’s it to you?” he replied coolly. You blinked, frowned, and crossed your arms.

“Pardon me for asking,” you said. “Didn’t realize I was being a bother.” Bucky stiffened and shifted away from you. Your frown deepened.

You waited for a few minutes, watching to see if Bucky would say what was bothering him, but came up with nothing. “I’ll go bother someone else,” you muttered. You stood up and left. Bucky’s stare drilled holes into your back.

 

Dinner was awkward. Dinner, actually, you corrected, was beyond awkward. Bucky changed his customary seat beside you to be closer toward the end of the table. Everyone else danced around toward new seats, landing Steve next to you. Bucky had sent the two of you a well-hidden glare.

You’d tried several times to start a conversation, but if you talked to Steve, Bucky glared, and if you tried to talk to Bucky, he engrossed himself elsewhere. “Don’t mind the negative Nancy,” Steve half-whispered to you. “He’s probably upset over that penguin thing.”

You laughed despite yourself, a smile widening across your face as you leaned back in your chair. “Oh my god,” you said. “There’s no way that’s true.” Steve gave you a wink. When you looked toward Bucky again, his seat was empty. Somehow the room felt a little colder.

“Is it just me,” you asked quietly. “Or is Bucky acting different from usual?” Sam gave you an owlish stare across the table before tilting his head in the direction of the hallway. You frowned and turned toward where Kai sat, staring down the hall.

What did he say? You sent them. Kai blinked. You nodded toward Sam. The telepath gave him a slight frown before sighing.

Go do what you have to, they said. Sam’s gonna cover. You confusion only slightly diminished, Kai elaborated. Babe, you gotta go see what’s up with your man. Wide eyes had Sam shaking his head slightly. Kai covered a smile as you excused yourself and left.

 

You found Bucky in his room, head in his hands, barely on his bed. The lights were dim, partly because he’d failed to turn on most of them, and further complicated by the shirt he’d tossed over a bedside lamp. His arm gleamed dully in the low light. “Bucky?” you called quietly.

Bucky’s head snapped upright instantly, the look on his face a mixture of displeasure and relief.

“Oh,” he said softly. Then, louder, “What do you want?” You blinked in surprise before crossing your arms.

“What’s up with you today?” you asked. Bucky’s frown instantly appeared.

“Excuse me?”

“I said,” you repeated, “what is up with you today?” The brunet didn’t answer. “You’re snappish and cold—did I do something wrong?” Bucky’s eyes widened fractionally. “Look, I love you, and I want us to be happy, but I want us to be happy together. Whatever isn’t working, we can fix, but you have to talk to me about it. I’m not Kai. I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

Bucky stood slowly, his eyes tracing up and down the length of your figure before he sighed, walked over to you, and held you to his chest. The steady beat of his heart sounded in your ear, slow and predictable. His chest shook with a large exhale. “I don’t deserve you,” Bucky said quietly.

Your arms wrapped around him tightly. “You do,” you said quietly. Bucky stiffened. “You deserve good things. You deserve to be loved and cherished. You deserve peace and happiness and security—someone who will love you unconditionally.”

“I wanted that person—” he paused. “I want that person to be you.” You looked up at him, a warm smile gracing your face.

“It will be, if you let me,” you replied smoothly. “I love you.”

“You should—Steve is better for you.” You blinked. “He’s stable. He knows who he is, at least—hell, you’ve got to be damn blind not to see the way you two click and—” You rose, pressing your lips against his firmly, an effective silencer.

“I chose you. I will always choose you,” you said against his lips. “I would go to the ends of the earth for you—beyond that.” Your fingers traced where metal met flesh, light against the scar tissue, a caress.

Bucky had to look away. His features had crumpled, blue eyes glazing over and sliding shut. You could recognize the weakness on his face, the way he wished to hide it from you, and although you hoped one day have Bucky show his weakness openly, you loved him for it. You loved the way his eyes reflected a desire to convey strength. You loved the slight tremble of his lips, the way he hid beneath his lashes to avoid your gaze.

As he looked back at you, Bucky saw the warmth of your eyes increase. He noted the openness of your expression, how you sought to give him everything you could—and felt selfish. “Bucky,” you whispered. He closed his eyes. “James.” Bucky’s eyes flew open, surprise evident in his light blue gaze.

“You are James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes,” you said firmly, emphasizing each segment of his name with a kiss. “And if you ever forget, I will always be there to remind you.” You pushed him gently back down onto the bed.

“Ash—” You shushed him gently.

“I want to make you feel good,” you said. “I want to love you in every way I can.” At Bucky’s wide eyes, your tone grew gentler. “Let me do this for you. Please.” Bucky paused for a moment, studying you, before he nodded.

“Okay.” The word was a whisper. You smiled gently.

“Good. Relax and let me do the work,” you replied. You straddled Bucky’s hips, leaning down to kiss him once more. His lips were just a little chapped—rough against your lips, pressing desperately against your own as if to confirm that you were there, that he was allowed to do this to you. Leaning further down, you allowed the kiss to deepen, gently pressing your body against his and allowing your hands to roam.

They glided over his chest first, feather-light, exploring every inch of available skin. Your lips strayed from his, trailing down his neck, over the exposed column of his throat as his head tilted back. You kept them light, gentle, kind. His hips shifted under yours.

Your mouth trailed across his chest next, paying special attention to his reactions as you neared his metal shoulder. Blue eyes remained riveted to yours as you reached the messy joining of materials. You paid homage there to his suffering, and then to his survival. “I love you,” you whispered. Bucky’s breath caught. You moved on.

You leaned back, ridding yourself of the shirt that had become too stuffy. Bucky’s hands instantly sought your waist. You gave him a deep kiss before continuing downward.

You whispered sweet words against Bucky’s skin, eyes always watching his, always waiting for his reactions before you moved on. You meant every word you said, and you desperately wanted Bucky to see it.

You removed yourself from Bucky’s hips only to unbutton them, pushing his tired jeans down to his ankles. He shoved them off. You kissed the inside of his thighs, hands slowly pushing your shorts off, kneeling between his legs. Your hand stroked the hardening length of his cock. “I love you,” you said once more. Bucky’s arm had fallen over his eyes. “I love all of you.”

You unhooked your bra, tossing it aside, probably far from where you had lost your shirt. “There’s nobody else I’d rather be with,” you said, tugging at his boxers. Bucky pushed himself up, eyes wide.

“Doll you—you don’t need to do that,” he said thickly, pupils wide. You smiled.

“I don’t need to,” you said. “But I want to.” With that, his boxers were tugged to the floor. Your hands wrapped around his length first, coaxing a fuller erection before your mouth was on it. Bucky’s hips jerked, a gasp pushing past his lips as the heat surrounding him grew overwhelming. You paused a moment, seeking affirmation, before continuing once more.

Your mouth, Bucky thought, was either a blessing or a curse. It was so wonderfully warm and wet, your tongue traced his cock in a way that was just right, and the way you hummed—God, the way you hummed as you sucked his cock like some goddamn miracle savior was downright torturous.

He’d managed to sit up by this point, his hands stroking your hair, your cheeks, eyes always on your face. The way your tongue traced teasingly over his head and slit—God, your hands at the base, the torturously delightful way you left no part of him neglected. Bucky groaned low in his throat, a knot forming in his belly.

“Doll, babe, please—” You looked up. “Please—in you.” You pulled off, a trail of precum dripping past your lips.

“Anything for you,” you replied smoothly. “Lean back.” Bucky did as he was told, content to let you have the reins this time around.

“Wait—” You paused. “Condom?” You blinked.

“Yes,” you said. “Condom. Definitely.” You reached into his nightstand to pull one out, carefully opening the package before rolling it on him. “Smart cookie.” Bucky chuckled weakly.

“Wouldn’t want you to get something you don’t want,” he said. You smiled crookedly.

“If it’s from you—,” you placed a kiss on his lips. “I don’t mind.” A genuine laugh this time. You took off your panties and determined you’d probably lost them forever. “Are you ready?”

“I should be asking you that,” Bucky replied, an eyebrow raised. You grinned.

“Not with what I’m about to do,” you stated. Bucky reclined fully and adjusted himself on the bed. You straddled him once more, aligning yourself, before slowly, carefully, taking in his length. As you adjusted, you placed Bucky’s hands on your hips, kissing him gently. A longing whine left his lips. You rolled your hips experimentally. His head tilted back, a groan rumbling in his throat.

Having adjusted, you set a slow pace initially. You wanted to take your time, ensuring that Bucky would get maximum pleasure from you. Apparently, he was enjoying himself a little too much. His hips jerked beneath you, breaths growing increasingly rapid. Your lips played across his neck and lips, always on the move. Your hands were planted firmly on his chest.

“Tell me what you need, Bucky,” you said into his skin.

“Say my name.” You looked up. “My name. My real name. Please.” You smiled at overwhelmed blue eyes.

“James,” you said, another kiss pressed to his lips. “I love you, James.” His hips jerked again. “I love you so much.” You moved faster now, your lips pressed firmly against his, a hand wiping at the moisture that gathered at the corners of his eyes. “I will always, always love you.”

Bucky shuddered beneath you, his moans swallowed by you, erratically trying to pump in and out of you as you continued to milk the last of his orgasm from him. “I love you, James.” Bucky whimpered before kissing you harder.

“I love you,” he gasped into your skin. “I love you so much.” You smiled brightly. Blue eyes darkened.

“Allow me to return the favor?”

You grinned. “With pleasure.”


End file.
